Do he still love me? :(

Hes too far... I miss him 😔

It hurts

I feel guilty and sad about it. We were planning to spend time together probably this week. He went back to bandar instead of staying at his kampung so he can hang out with me but the moment when he asked when will I be free? I said I dont know..... thats when all the guilty feelings I felt at that time. He said that its better to be at kampung... :( I know when hes at his kampung, theres a lot of things that he can do. Hes totally sad about it. I should've just told him to stayed there..Why am I so stupid?

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IM SORRY ABAAAAAANG! :'(

I cant sleep. Ive been like this since an hour ago. Usually, if I late replying his text.. he would go like this childish-thingy, then when I said sorry and he replied that he wanted to go to sleep, thats why I know I made him sad and maybe mad I think? But I didnt mean to, I never did. I was just busy doing my chores like washing the dishes, eat, resting, watching tv ( i dont call that busy anw) but heres the thing.. I tried everything I could to spend my time with him. I dont understand why he kept on saying that its like I was trying to ran away from him. Why should I? I just wanted to have my own spaces... :( idk what were you thinking of me all this time...? I felt like trusting me was the last thing you did. I know youre out there, reading this.. Could you tell me why?

Its just like yesterday where I was lying down on my bed, looking up at the ceilings, remembering how sad I was when he said he was sleepy and wanted to go to sleep. Now here I am totally wide awake. I dont even know what should I do right now? :(

1st November

Friday,

Someone woke me up at 1am something, im awake but I fall asleep then I woke up again at 3am. I read geo.. It made me felt so sleepy. So yeah I slept again heheh but I set my alarm at 5.30am

The sounds of my alarm totally woke me up! Tarus wide awake laaaaaah. BELAJAR GEO! SCAAAAAAANING! XD

Then mandi at aound 6.30am i guess? Im all set and Im ready to go to school. While waiting I text him up but no reply from him. I waited. But still no reply from him so nevermind tarus zoom je ke sekolah. I brought my phone along with me. I remembered I did put it inside my pocket but then the moment I arrived at school, I checked my pocket, there's no phone inside? I was wondering where did I put it? Usually every exam I put it inside my friend's beg. So yeah, rupanya tertinggal kat kereta kaka... =='

Geo paper 2. Alhamdulillah it was ok for me but inda cukup masa jelah. sheesh maaaaaan

Habis exam. Dad ambil. Different car. My phone was not with me at that time. Mom wanted to go to freshco supermarket? We went there. Shopping and jalan jalan. I'm happy I can spend my time just with my parents alone. Oh yeah but at the same time I'm worried about him also.

It took us like 3 hours shopping. Now I'M REALLY WORRIED.

Finally imma home. Took my phone from my sister's car. Then straight away text him up. I was happy I can text with him but sekejap saja since he had to go to the mosque. Yeah. Tunggu habis sembahyang lah tu jawapannya.

I dont know why suddenly I felt like really moody. After sembahyang jumaat dah. He text me up. Oh he dont know how much I missed him... :( I'm ok with it after all. Kami textler after that. He said that he cut his hair. hehehehehehe happy is meeeeee xp

He showed it to me his new haircut. I love him <3

Then then ka opeh minta dgani ke saloon. Im going out tapi nada credit..... T.T payah balas textnya. I felt so sad.

Balik ke rumah lagi, I text him back. Hes mad i think? :( I'm sorry

Im getting more sad. Shoudve buy credit earlier.... then when I tried to text him... He was not there. I thought maybe he has work or something else? So I waited. Then time maghrib, I text him up again cause I know he will appear but nada. I text him again. No reply. It broke my heart, Idkw. I just want to cry at that time. How childish right? ahahaha but yeah

Ka pirah bawa jalaaaaaaaan. We went to Time Square. Jalan atu pun ALUM ADA TEXTNYA. OKAY. SABAR. I had fun with my siblings tho but.... T.T

At 8 somthing? He replied my text. He said that ia tertidur.... bla bla bla. I was happy but I feel so sad somehow. I cried. So immature! I dont want to reply his text cause I feel guilty after all. Bla bla bla. Dinner in SCR at Gadong then went to the Mall bought something. He text me up again, now I replied.

Im homey, I was mad. I feel sorry for him. I said I want to go to sleep but I cant sleep after all. I thought that he would say "dont go to sleep first or what" but he didnt say anything. He just say ok. It broke my heart again. I waited for his love but he didnt say. It hurts. OH GOD! HE REALLY DID BROKE MY HEART TODAY! HOW SAD!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. THIS IS SUCKS. HATE TODAY

Today's exam

Geography.

I would say it was hard because of I chose the wrong question. Tadi geography paper 1 which it has 6 questions. 2Q on every theme. 3 Theme.

-Theme A 1) Deforestation
                 2) River
-Theme B 3) Population
                 4) Farming
-Theme C 5) Tourism
                6) Industry

I answered question number 2, 3 and 5

On river, there's a question where it asked about the formation of delta which I forgot how, so yeah I left it blank plus inda cukup masaaaaaaaa! GAH! I HATE ESSAYS.

Whatever. Next paper 2 this friday. Wish me luck peeps xx