*sigh*

Dulu, memang hampir tiap tiap hari kami bertexting.. tapi sekarang dah semakin berkurangan. Kenapa? I think maybe because of we're getting awkward with each other. Why? Last time we fought because of misunderstanding. I knew I was the one who started it but yeah just like I told you its just a misunderstanding. Yup I regret of doing that to him.
I was bored at that time, so I stalked him lah, tak salah kan? bukan ada yang larang pun nak stalk dia. Then I saw he was tweeting with his friend. Which is a girl, I don't mind at first then the more I stalked them the more I got jealous and jealous became mad and so I cried. I don't know why, but my friends said that even though hes not mine but its okay to get jealous right? Its normal.Since I started to like him, siapa jugak yang tak jeles tengok orang yang dorang suka texting sama orang lain? Tak jeles kah tu namanya? O.O
After that I text him that I stalked him and asking who's that girl? He said that, they're just best friend, not more than that. Then I said okay, then what about me? Am I your best friend too? cause we share everything to each other. "I've never thought of that" he said. So, all this time.. what am I to him? "I know I was being stupid crying and get jealous even though you're not mine" I said. Then the next day, I stalked him again.. "Shiz. You acted like im yours" then he stop tweeting with that girl. When I saw that, im getting mad cause I did told him already that Im just telling him my feelings that I got jealous and NOT TOLD HIM TO STOP TWEETING WITH THAT GIRL! GAAAAAAAAH!
It happened and I already knew it was my fault so I text him again to apologize and stuff. Till right now our relation is hanging just like that. I don't know what he is to me. Friend? Best friend? Enemy? Admire? Crush? Stranger? or what? Idk. Once a month I did text him that how is he? and I miss him and bla bla bla. He didn't treat me like he used to. So sad. Im a heart broken right now.
Just now when I think about it, I feel my pride and ego decreasing just because of him. I feel regret. Rasa saya dipermainkan! I felt stupid! SO, I make up my mind that I WILL NEVER TEXTING WITH HIM AGAIN! and I'll try to move on. I knew I still have a feelings for him.. but also I can feel that my feelings for him getting faded... and whenever Im texting with other guys.. I feel annoyed with them. Well, I guess my heart turn into a rock again.